Do You Have BAD TASTE?
When I say, "Bad Taste" I mean that the more my eyes sparkled, everyone who loves me could feel their gut drop.
Here are some examples I have seen or experienced:
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The guy that lets you know he is newly divorced and has supervised visitation with his daughter because of his anger management problems.
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The guy who tells you they would like to sleep with your best friend because he has no filter.
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The guy who recently left his wife for another women online, and then dumped her when he met her because she was fat.
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The guy with no papers has already been deported once.
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The guy who is married but says to you when you try to break it off, “We’ll work something out.”
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The guy that orders five Jack Daniels over 1 hour on your first date.
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The guy that hates his mother and goes on and on about what a bitch his ex is.
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He’s your brother-in-law, father-in-law, husband’s best friend, teacher, or therapist.
Is This Book For Me?
Despite years of therapy and personal long-term recovery, everyone who loves me will tell you I have often displayed the worst taste in men. Why the focus only on men? I am writing from a cis-female life experience vantage point, and so cannot speak with authority about the experiences of others. I KNOW the types I am identifying cross gender and sexual worlds, and I encourage you to, as we say in recovery, “take what you like and leave the rest.” What I can say with authority is that I chose some version of unavailable or unreliable repeatedly! As a therapist over the last 40 years, I have watched other smart, funny, responsible, loving women choose mates unwisely as well. There are those of us who simply should not be allowed to choose for ourselves, lol!
I KNOW there is community of women out here who are struggling to create "upgrades" in our selection process, and along the way, we still get derailed. This little book is an attempt to give us HARM REDUCTION strategies so that when we stumble, we don['t stumble off the cliff!
The humor here can be a little dark at times, and it comes from a place of genuine affection and love for us. As I conclude the book,
I am glad my home girl encouraged me to write my thoughts down because these are conversations I have had over the years with so many women. I love us, and I know how hard we try to make what can seem insurmountable relationships work. We are so hardy, resilient, clever. Remember that regardless of what HE does, you are a separate and fabulous woman, and he should be damn grateful you will put up with his ass! None of these guys are worthy to carry our purse, and yet we love them. Lucky them!
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Do you have a story I can relate to? I want to know how you are taking care of yourself and your sanity while you are in the relationship!